I once asked my sister-in-law what kind of man she thought I should marry. She answered: “The kind the Bible says”. What a great answer! It was one I had never considered before, even though it seems obvious now. I’d been thinking about the type of personality or interests a person had. Once I started thinking and reading, I found that the Bible gives us many indications of what a godly man or woman looks like. For example, Proverbs teaches that it is best to avoid women without discretion and men who are angry. Titus two teaches that the qualities of sober-mindedness in a man and love of children in a woman are to be desired.
No one is going to perfectly fulfil Biblical ideals. The key is humility. Humble people know that Jesus died for our sins, and that he can transform even the most broken and hopeless person. They recognise the authority of God’s word, and see their own weaknesses and sins. Humble people are teachable and willing to repent. This is why the number one characteristic for a person is humility. With humility, all other changes are possible through God’s grace. Without it, your partner will continually ask you to change whilst being unable or unwilling to see personal sin.
One of the many attributes that attracted me to Dave was his willingness to admit wrong. After nearly a year of marriage, this characteristic is even more important to me. We are both sinners, and we have wronged each other and God in many ways since we married. Without a willingness to admit wrong and to look to Christ for transformation, we would be utterly miserable. I am also grateful that my consideration of the characteristics of godly men and women led me to seek to live out what God had commanded of me, prior to marriage. I still have a lot of growth to do in many areas. It has been a blessing, though, to be aware of God's perspective and to have developed godlier skills and attitudes as an unmarried woman.