And the LORD God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper suitable to him.” Genesis 2:18.
This verse gives us a summary of the role of a wife toward her husband. Just as Eve was created to be Adam’s helper, so God intends that each wife will help her own husband. While feminists have derided this role as life in second-class, Christian women know that God’s design is best.
As a new wife, I am at the beginning of my journey of helping my husband. I have mainly concentrated on helping my husband through willingly embracing the things the Bible indicates a wife should aspire to. I have also tried to support Dave in his research career, simply through being positive about it and trying not to complain about various difficulties such as travel. Dave’s work of studying trees is part of his role in taking dominion over the earth and providing for us.
One thing I have discovered is that my ideas of being a helpful housewife and Dave’s ideas don’t always match! For example, I believed that a good wife is frugal and is always looking for new ways to save. When I expressed this to Dave, he said we were frugal enough. I am still careful with our money, especially when it comes to groceries, but I have changed some of my ideas about budgeting.
As wives, we need to find out what our husbands want us to focus our attentions upon. Not all the good things we read on blogs, about frugality or other aspects of homemaking, will be a help to our husbands. On “A Deeper Love” I have written a lot about gardening and the Creation Mandate. However, my main reason for focusing upon this is my husband’s passion for us to grow our own vegetables. If Dave thought vegetable growing was a waste of time, I would not put as much energy into this.
Assess whatever you read on blogs on the basis of your husband’s priorities. All of us should seek to shape our priorities around God’s word, but that will look different in each family and season. For now, I’m working on the main thing Dave has told me would help him: being happy! I am generally happy, but tend to get worried and stressed at times. Learning to relax, and develop a quiet spirit, is my main challenge in being a helper. What about you?