Recently my friend Christina received the gift of yet another explicit book about physical intimacy. Christina is to be married in December, and apparently some friends feel that she ought to be as knowledgeable as possible about sexuality beforehand. In response, Christina and I have been toying with the idea of writing a book titled “Blissful Ignorance” or “Ignorance is Bliss”. We recognise that people recommend explicit books with the best of intentions. However, we would like to respectfully put forward a different point of view.
These books are unhelpful to unmarried people who are trying to remain emotionally and mentally pure in preparation for the one they love. They are also a product of the world’s obsession with the mechanics of sexuality. God has made a man and his wife to enjoy one another, and we can trust that under ordinary circumstances this will be the case.
Christina and I are not, of course, arguing for complete ignorance: some knowledge of human anatomy and reproduction, and of the Bible’s teaching on physical intimacy, is important. It is the pedalling of very detailed material to unmarried people that we consider both unnecessary and harmful. This material can cause unnecessary temptation, and even worry about unpleasant problems that may not occur. It is our opinion that people will be happier if they do not read it.
Dave and I had a fantastic honeymoon without the aid of any shared reading of explicit books. Neither of us could claim to being blissfully ignorant beforehand, but we don’t think that most knowledge we did have was of much use to us. Really, the honeymoon would have been just as blissful if we’d been less knowledgeable.
My advice to unmarried people is this: trust that God has made physical intimacy great, and you don’t need to know much more than that! You can be happily ignorant, trusting that God has an excellent plan for you to know your future partner in a more wonderful and exciting way than you can imagine. After marriage, you have the rest of your lives to explore his plan.